Freddo

One by one the days fall beside us like yellow leaves we have no conscience.
Oh, what we're becoming
Month by month the rings on our tree trunks like old wise eyes grow wider
and winter lends them a dead disguise.
Now time, like an ocean, knows tide, like a notion,
to toss about the house and lose inside the couch
and piles of our thoughts run miles in the dark
just trying to get home.
Age by age we rime with our seasons' rehearsed routines
still turning and returning.
Now I'm wide as the ocean.
now I bleed roses.
you are just a mark on the map of my past,
I am a road -
I wind along alone,
all day until the coast.

BeetlejuiceBeetlejuiceBeetlejuice

Nuff said.

December

This month makes me feel even more isolated from humanity. The weather is so perfect it makes me sad and the cold still reminds me of you. The idea of you..really. When I'm walking around late at night letting my mind roam I see skyscrapers instead of suburbia, feel butterflies and hope instead of dreary monotony and my wanderlust is satiated. Something that could have been instead of a sweetly apathetic memory that sometimes makes my chest ache and stomach flip.


December 2010

Say Goodnight To Gravity

Say Goodnight to Gravity.  Nov 2010

I completely erased this song from my brain. Never even knew that it imprinted all these triggers. I suddenly smell A&F and feel the cold weather all around me. I even remember the texture of my old pea coat on my arms and the taste of you and way too much alcohol on my tongue. I think it even made me feel giddy for a minute. Maybe I'll listen to it one more time because I'm such a sentimental sadist. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07Sz8J3ZPPc

Behold

Behold  Jul 30, 2010

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story.  From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.  One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.  I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose.  I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.  

Razzle Dazzle

Razzle Dazzle  Jul 27, 2010

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for for me.

Cambiamenti

Cambiamenti.  Jan 8, 2009

I can't keep staring at your mouth without wondering how it tastes
I'm with another boy; he's asleep, I'm wide awake
And he tried to win my heart, but it's taken time
I know the shape of your hands because I watch them when you talk
And I know the shape of your body 'cause I watch it when you walk..